Shifting the Drama Triangle
The Drama Triangle
In 1961, psychologist Stephen Karpmen first described "The Drama Triangle." Some call it the VSA (Victim/Savior/Abuser) Paradigm, but the idea is that we all naturally fall into one of these roles and once we are in the triangle we continue to rotate around to the other roles inevitably becoming the victim. Many of us are Saviors, we see someone who needs help, we step in and do the work for them, we blame the Persecutor (becoming a Persecutor themselves) and when the Victim isn't able to create their own boundaries and do the work themselves, we become tired wondering why it's always us stepping in to do the work then becoming the Victim. Some of us see what is right and wrong and naturally become persecutors as we point out these shortcomings but in a way that is abusive instead of challenging, consistently saying what others are doing wrong but not giving them the tools to do anything about it. And some of us are the Victims wondering why we can't get ahead, why everything bad always happens to us, and finding everyone else to blame for our circumstances but never accepting responsibility for our participation.
If you are in one of these roles, you will naturally put people into the other two. If someone is in one of these roles, they may try to place you into one of the other roles, at which point you become a part of the drama. The beauty of the Drama Triangle is that YOU CAN GET OUT.
The second option is David Emerald Womeldorff's triangle "The Empowerment Dynamic” with new roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach. These roles encourage the Creator to take responsibility for creating what they want, challenge them in the ways they can grow more into their potential, and coach them by giving them the tools they need to achieve their goals. It also allows each person to set healthy boundaries and to avoid unnecessary drama or toxic relationships.
Taking time to understand these to dynamics will help you to set healthy boundaries, to avoid unnecessary drama and toxic relationships, and to step into the role of creator. Not only will you become a participant in your own healing, but also in that of your relationships. The video below is a great introduction.
